:D

1237am

Thank God for Chad.

I talked to him for a while today. I started to have another breakdown in drawing class. I have no idea why, but I did.

So I told him and he told me to come talk to him in his room.

I explained everything to him pretty much and he just said some things to me I really needed to hear.

"You're stupid," he said. That was it. He was right. He went on to tell me what everyone else has, how he's not even worth me trying to be his friend, how I don't deserve that, I will find someone better, etc. etc.

But for some reason him coming out and calling me stupid was just what I needed. Because he's right. I'm too trusting; too forgiving.

And it's true. I try to find the best in people. Even if I taking that idea of them from the past. Which is bad for me. It'll end up hurting me. I should know better than anyone that guys don't change. Not back anyway. Joseph and Brandon are great examples of that. It's almost frightening how much alike they seem to be now. Yikes! haha

Anyway, so I'm happy now :) I've got a date tomorrow night with a cool guy and I'm really excited! I've got so many wonderful new friends and still some old ones. I even made peace with Kate today because I was in such a good mood. It's been great since I talked to Chad.

I feel ready to take anything on now.

If Brandon wants to be friends, sure, cool, that's awesome. If not, okay, fine, whatever he wants. There's no more stress, concern, desires, nothing. I'll just go with the flow like the fortune teller told me I do ;D

Nighty night little lamb. I'm off to bed and I should be finished with this journal. Tune in next time to another journal on my profile. PEACE OUT YO!