END

142pm

So this is the last one for this specific journal.

Because I don't have to ask the question anymore: "what am I supposed to do now?"

I've talked to Katie and I just hope she makes the right decision.

Brandon needs to straighten himself out before he tries to date anyone. The lying and deceiving is old.

Anyway, my final decision:

I love him with all my heart and I'd do anything for him. I'll go to his concerts and be there for him when he's sick. I'll be his best friend if he wants me to be.

But I will not date him like this.

I will be his friend, but I will not put my heart on the line.

If he can show me he's changed, like really prove it to me, then I would be all for dating him and following through with everything we've talked about concerning the future.

I would love that.

But not unless he changes back or into someone...good(for lack of a better term).

So yeah. That's it! All solved for now.

I feel so much lighter and I feel like I can go on with my life.

I still have a shadow hanging over my back full of memories and wishes, but there are rays of light brightening up my path. Finally. It's been a while.

That's it! PEACE!