Forever and always

Song update:

Once upon a time

I believe it was a Tuesday

when I caught your eye
We caught onto something,

I hold on to the night
You looked me in the eye

and told me you loved me

Were you just kidding

cause it seems to me
This thing is breaking down

we almost never speak
I don’t feel welcome anymore,

baby what happened please tell me
Cause one second it was perfect

now you’re half way out the door

And I stare at the phone

he still hasn’t called
And you feel so low

you can’t feel nothin at all
And you flash back to when he said

forever and always

Ohh ohhh

And it rains in your bedroom

everything is wrong
It rains when you’re here

and it rains when you’re gone
Cause I was there when you said

forever and always

Was I out of line

did I say something way too honest
That made you run and hide

like a scared little boy
I looked into your eyes;

thought I knew you for a minute
now I’m not so sure

So here’s to everything

coming down to nothing
Here’s to silence

that cuts me to the core
Where is this going,

thought I knew for a minute
but I don’t anymore

And I stare at the phone

he still hasn’t called
And you feel so low

you can’t feel nothin at all
And you flash back to when he said

forever and always

Ohh ohhh

And it rains in your bedroom

everything is wrong
It rains when you’re here

and it rains when you’re gone
Cause I was there when you said

forever and always

You didn’t mean it baby,

I don’t think so
Ohhh ohhhh

Oh back up, baby back up,

did you forget everything
back up, baby back up,

did you forget everything

Cause it rains in your bedroom

everything is wrong
It rains when you’re here

and it rains when you’re gone
Cause I was there when you said

forever and always

ohhh

I stare at the phone

he still hasn’t called
And you feel so low

you can’t feel nothin at all
And you flash back to when we said

forever and always

And it rains in your bedroom

everything is wrong
It rains when you’re here

and it rains when you’re gone
Cause I was there when you said

forever and always
You didn’t mean it baby,

you said forever and always

140am

I don't think there's anything I haven't said in the past.

Not talking to me again, breaking promises, hurting me, not wanting me. What's new.

Thank God for my friends.

Tanner drove to my house to give me a hug and just to talk to me for a tiny bit.

Something Brandon's never done.

*sigh

Oh well. Brandon wants me to get over him. I'll do what he wants. I always do.

Tomorrow's going to suck seeing him. And now that he's turned the band against me by acting like the victim, I won't have friends outside of Grant County until Aaron, Luke, and Tanner come to finals.

Awesome. Can't wait.

And I was so looking forward to this day before.

Damn, no more Gabriel or Kaida or nice house with high ceilings, recording studio, or mma fighting arena. No more going to a nice restaurant and dancing in the aisle. No more going to the Blue Wisp to watch him, or going any time soon like we'd talked about. No more falling asleep together and waking up in each other's arms. No more future together.

I hadn't thought about that. Everything we'd talked about and planned out, gone.

Crap. No wonder all I can see of the future is black.

I just want him to be my friend.

He's changed so much.

When we started dating, he really didn't have other friends. Everyone got on his nerves and all that.

He couldn't stand his grade or school.

Now it's like being the center of attention is what he lives for and he's all for "class spirit." What the hell?

Whatever. As long as he's happy.

If me getting over him and him not talking to me makes him happy, then I'll do what he wants.

I will not talk to him and I'll date around. No commitment, but dates, sure.

I'm not falling in love again. I'm not going through the pain again. One person is way more than enough for me.

I couldn't handle more.

201am. If I fall asleep this second, I'll get four hours of sleep.

So I'll probably get one or two tops. Woo.