My chest feels like it is going to explode.
I know what's coming. And I can't deal with it.
I don't know what I'm going to do.
I was disappointed. He didn't talk to me when he saw me today. No hug, no nothing other than a hey after I'd been there a bit.
It hurts. He said we'd stay friends.
Tomorrow we're supposed to hang out. I'm not going to say anything to him about it, I'll wait until he does.
I just pray, and pray so hard, that he does not text me and say he can't. Or not mention it at all.
I don't know what to write. My mind is everywhere.
He's leaving me, I know it, and I can't handle it.
Leaving as in everything, gone.
I cannot do it.
If it happens...
I don't know if I'd be able to stay safe like he wants me to.
I can almost guarantee I won't.
He doesn't know. He doesn't understand what he does to me and how he affects me.
Then again, I'd go through this torment a thousand times over if it meant everything would go back to normal.
But I want to claw through my chest and tear out my heart right now.
I'm back to choking.
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